MATEO SOL – WHY NON-ATTACHMENT IS THE KEY TO FINDING INNER PEACE IN A CRAZY WORLD – 1-10-18 – by We Signed Up For This

Attachment

 

“Non-attachment” sounds a bit intimidating, doesn’t it?

Unfortunately, most people tend to associate this spiritual phrase with being emotionally cold and unfeeling. But true non-attachment is quite the opposite: it allows us to live in this world fully, without being attached to people, things or thoughts that create suffering.

https://wesignedup4this.com/2018/01/09/why-non-attachment-is-the-key-to-finding-inner-peace-in-a-crazy-world/

As the Dalai Lama was once quoted to have said, “Attachment is the origin, the root of suffering; hence it is the cause of suffering.” But we don’t have to sell everything we own and become monks or nuns to practice non-attachment; we simply need to understand the vital importance of letting go.

Non-attachment or release from desire has been spoken about in many religions such as Taoism, Hinduism, Jainism, and the Bahá’í Faith, but this concept is most commonly linked to Buddhism.

Here are a few perspectives from these spiritual traditions on non-attachment:

The root of suffering is attachment – The Buddha (Buddhism)

When we come to non-attachment, then we can understand the marvelous mystery of the universe: how it is intense activity and at the same time intense peace, how it is work every moment and rest every moment. – Swami Vivekananda (Hindu Tradition)

Consider the trees which allow the birds to perch and fly away without either inviting them to stay or desiring them never to depart. If your heart can be like this, you will be near to the Way. – Zen saying

Act without expectation – Lao Tzu (Taoism)

He who is attached to things will suffer much. – Tao Te Ching

Aparigraha (Non-attachment): One of the three pillars of Jainism

Attach not thyself to anything unless in it thou seest the reality of God. – Abdu’l-Baha (Bahá’í Faith)

Detachment is not that you should own nothing, but that nothing should own you. – Ali Ibn Abi Talib (Islam)

There are simply too many quotes out there on non-attachment to include here, but I hope these perspectives give you an idea of how important non-attachment is not only religiously, but on a global level.

WHAT IS NON-ATTACHMENT?

So what essentially is non-attachment?

Non-attachment is not about being a cold or emotionally dead brick wall, instead, it’s about learning how to let go of the thoughts and emotions that create suffering. Once we can stop being so attached to our thoughts, we experience tremendous relief, inner peace, and a pervading sense of joyful well-being.

So how do we let go of our thoughts and emotions? We must learn to observe and disentangle ourselves from our thoughts through practices such as mindful awareness, meditation, and self-inquiry. When we can simply allow life to unfold naturally without being attached to outcomes, beliefs, feelings or opinions, then we experience true non-attachment. Picture this process of detachment like being an ice cube that slowly melts down into a puddle of flowing water. Water, like the practice of non-attachment, flows with life effortlessly and peacefully, whereas ice cubes do not. The goal of non-attachment, therefore, is to become like water.

Essentially, non-attachment is about letting go of everything, both physical and non-physical – or what spiritual teachers such as Eckhart Tolle refer to as “dying before you die.” At first, this sounds scary, but dying before you die really only means letting go of everything that is preventing you from finding what is true, eternal, unchanging, and forever present. In the words of Tolle, “Death is a stripping away of all that is not you. The secret of life is to die before you die – and find that there is no death.” So non-attachment, at the deepest level, is about returning back to your True Nature by loosening the grip of the mind on internal and external things.

BENEFITS OF NON-ATTACHMENT

When we stop clinging to internal and external phenomena, our whole relationship with life is transformed. Here is what may or may not happen when you learn how to practice acceptance and surrender:

  • You will stop being controlled by your emotions, instead, you’ll become interested in them
  • You won’t be attached to the outcome, meaning that you’ll be free from the dread, anxiety, and inner tension that comes with clinging to expectations
  • You’ll be more curious, open, and spontaneous because you have no predetermined desire or craving
  • You’ll be more peaceful and less neurotic, meaning that your relationships and friendships will drastically improve
  • You’ll feel consistently relaxed and serene because you’re not identifying with your thoughts and feelings (and instead you’re witnessing them as a “passive observer”)
  • You’ll be more resilient in the face of loss and death because you’re not attached to people and realize that all things are ephemeral
  • You’ll feel a sense of expansive freedom because you’re no longer a slave to the mind
  • You’ll feel a sense of wholeness because you don’t need or want anything in particular, you’re happy just as you are in the present moment
  • You’ll feel more love for yourself and others because you’re not attaching to beliefs and expectations about who you/others “should” be or what “shouldn’t” happen – you’ll give yourself and other people freedom to be themselves without judgment
  • You’ll experience more synchronicity as life unfolds effortlessly and naturally
  • You’ll no longer be addicted to “getting” things or filling an empty hole in yourself because you’re content and don’t attach to the belief that someone or something will “complete” you
  • You’ll feel more grounded and connected to life because you’re not lost in thought-based attachments – you’ll actually participate in life more fully
  • Your mind will become clear and you’ll be able to perceive the truth more easily
  • You’ll feel gratitude, love, compassion, and happiness permeate your life as you have let go of the need to chase happiness(which creates unhappiness)

Put non-resistance and non-judgment together with non-attachment, and you have a recipe for complete inner peace. Why? When we stop resisting life and judging things to be “good” or “bad,” we naturally let go of a lot of anger, hatred, fear, and sadness.

THE MISTAKE OF ATTACHING TO NON-ATTACHMENT

After hearing about non-attachment the tendency of the mind is to instantly fire up and start masterminding ways of “achieving” non-attachment. But be careful! Even the desire to want no desire is still a desire!

The whole point of non-attachment is to begin paying attention to your thoughts. What occupies your mind all day? What drives you? In what ways are you seeking happiness from the external world rather than the internal world? Non-attachment is a concept that helps us to explore what is happening within us … but at the same time, it can easily become yet another attachment. So pay attention. Be wary of allowing non-attachment to become yet another “Trophy” you’re trying to add to your spiritual cabinet because it doesn’t work that way. It is impossible to practice true non-attachment when we’re attached to the desire to be non-attached.

How do we prevent this (largely overlooked) attachment from happening? We’ll explore that next.

HOW TO STOP BEING ATTACHED TO THOUGHTS, FEELINGS, PEOPLE, AND CIRCUMSTANCES

Non-attachment is usually the byproduct of spiritual practices such as self-discovery, self-acceptance, and self-love. Here are some useful ways to begin letting go of habits, desires, and thought-patterns that no longer serve you:

  1. STOP LOOKING FOR HAPPINESS IN EXTERNAL THINGS

When we chase happiness by believing that someone or something outside of ourselves can make us happy, we suffer. In fact, the pursuit of happiness is the greatest form of attachment there is in society. Instead, try to direct your attention inwards. At first, seeking happiness from within can be extremely difficult as we’ve been conditioned to find “happiness” in material things, accomplishments, titles, and people. But with practice, you will start to find the peaceful center within you known as your soul. Regularly setting aside time to be quiet and still with yourself can help you tune into this inner space.

  1. LET GO OF THE “SHOULDS” AND “MUSTS”

How do you approach life? Are the words “should” and “must” a big part of your vocabulary? Expectations (which are mental attachments) are always prefaced with one of these two words, for example, “He should be nicer,” “I must achieve this or I will be a failure,” “They should stop doing that immediately.” Pay attention to the use of these two words and how they reflect in your behavior. Are you believing that something “should” happen or someone “must” be a certain way? Let it go. You cannot change people. Allow life to flow without imposing useless expectations onto it.

  1. PRACTICE ALLOWING

Allowing is about permitting life to be just as it is. Allow your thoughts. Allow your emotions. Allow things to not go the way you expected. In the words of Abraham Hicks, “The Art of Allowing is the art of finding my alignment, and therefore, living in joy no matter what’s happening around me.” By allowing life to happen, you stop resisting and suffering ceases.

  1. MAKE FRIENDS WITH UNCERTAINTY

We control, obsessively plan, and try to predict things out of pure fear. But the problem is that the more we resist uncertainty, the more paranoid, anxious, and tense we become. When we learn to embrace uncertainty and to allow life to unfold as it wants, we don’t experience fear anymore – instead, we feel calm, curious, and open to all possibilities. This openness allows us to adopt a playful attitude towards life because we’re no longer limited by fearing the unknown. Sometimes a simple shift in mindset can help you befriend uncertainty instead of loathe it. For example, instead of dreading “what will come around the corner” start perceiving the unknown as a big surprise waiting to happen.

  1. LEARN TO OBSERVE YOUR THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS

The easiest way to observe your thoughts and feelings is through a regular daily meditation practice. I recommend trying Vipassana meditation as it helps you to stay grounded while discovering with first-hand experience that you are not your thoughts: your thoughts are simply fluctuations of energy that rise and fall like waves in the ocean. The more you incorporate thought-awareness into your life, the more readily you’ll see how irrelevant many thoughts are: they only mean something when you assign them meaning. When you don’t give thoughts importance, they cease to cause you pain.

  1. SEE HOW TRANSIENT ALL THINGS ARE

Look around you and try to find something that will last forever. Who or what will last eternally? The reality is that all things will sooner or later die. By reminding yourself of this fact, you will start living life as fully and completely as possible. Seeing the transience of life is deeply saddening but also gives us the opportunity to experience true joy. If everything lasted forever, what a boring thing life would be! Death helps us to appreciate life. So appreciate it while you have it. Furthermore, use this recognition to fuel your pursuit to find that which doesn’t change, or that which is eternal. Start looking within and you will be surprised … or more than surprised, ecstatic!

***

Non-attachment and letting go, go hand in hand. If you want more guidance on how to let go, I recommend checking out our article 42 Powerful Ways of Letting Go of Anger and Heartbreak. This article is packed to the brim full of helpful tips and advice.

When all has been said and done, non-attachment is one of the keys to experiencing an enlightened form of living which is grounded in the here and now, and is wildly and utterly alive. Non-attachment isn’t about becoming some dull “emptied” husk-of-a-person – it is about living with the aliveness, rawness and simplicity of a true Master.

So now I’ll turn it over to you: what are your thoughts on non-attachment? Do you have any useful tips to share with our community?

 

 

 

 

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LONE WOLF – Why Non-Attachment is the Key to Finding Inner Peace in a Crazy World – by Era Of Peace – 1-5-18

body of light

LONE WOLF

“Non-attachment” sounds a bit intimidating, doesn’t it? Unfortunately, most people tend to associate this spiritual phrase with being emotionally cold and unfeeling. But true non-attachment is quite the opposite: it allows us to live in this world fully, without being attached to people, things or thoughts that create suffering.

As the Dalai Lama was once quoted to have said, “Attachment is the origin, the root of suffering; hence it is the cause of suffering.” But we don’t have to sell everything we own and become monks or nuns to practice non-attachment; we simply need to understand the vital importance of letting go.

Non-attachment or release from desire has been spoken about in many religions such as Taoism, Hinduism, Jainism, and the Bahá’í Faith, but this concept is most commonly linked to Buddhism.

Here are a few perspectives from these spiritual traditions on non-attachment:

The root of suffering is attachment – The Buddha (Buddhism)
When we come to non-attachment, then we can understand the marvelous mystery of the universe: how it is intense activity and at the same time intense peace, how it is work every moment and rest every moment. – Swami Vivekananda (Hindu Tradition)
Consider the trees which allow the birds to perch and fly away without either inviting them to stay or desiring them never to depart. If your heart can be like this, you will be near to the Way. – Zen saying
Act without expectation – Lao Tzu (Taoism)
He who is attached to things will suffer much. – Tao Te Ching
Aparigraha (Non-attachment): One of the three pillars of Jainism
Attach not thyself to anything unless in it thou seest the reality of God. – Abdu’l-Baha (Bahá’í Faith)
Detachment is not that you should own nothing, but that nothing should own you. – Ali Ibn Abi Talib (Islam)

There are simply too many quotes out there on non-attachment to include here, but I hope these perspectives give you an idea of how important non-attachment is not only religiously, but on a global level.

What is Non-Attachment?

So what essentially is non-attachment?
Non-attachment is not about being a cold or emotionally dead brick wall, instead, it’s about learning how to let go of the thoughts and emotions that create suffering. Once we can stop being so attached to our thoughts, we experience tremendous relief, inner peace, and a pervading sense of joyful well-being.

So how do we let go of our thoughts and emotions? We must learn to observe and disentangle ourselves from our thoughts through practices such as mindful awareness, meditation, and self-inquiry. When we can simply allow life to unfold naturally without being attached to outcomes, beliefs, feelings or opinions, then we experience true non-attachment. Picture this process of detachment like being an ice cube that slowly melts down into a puddle of flowing water. Water, like the practice of non-attachment, flows with life effortlessly and peacefully, whereas ice cubes do not. The goal of non-attachment, therefore, is to become like water.

Essentially, non-attachment is about letting go of everything, both physical and non-physical – or what spiritual teachers such as Eckhart Tolle refer to as “dying before you die.” At first, this sounds scary, but dying before you die really only means letting go of everything that is preventing you from finding what is true, eternal, unchanging, and forever present. In the words of Tolle, “Death is a stripping away of all that is not you. The secret of life is to die before you die – and find that there is no death.” So non-attachment, at the deepest level, is about returning back to your True Nature by loosening the grip of the mind on internal and external things.

Benefits of Non-Attachment

When we stop clinging to internal and external phenomena, our whole relationship with life is transformed. Here is what may or may not happen when you learn how to practice acceptance and surrender:

  • You will stop being controlled by your emotions, instead, you’ll become interested in them
  • You won’t be attached to the outcome, meaning that you’ll be free from the dread, anxiety, and inner tension that comes with clinging to expectations
  • You’ll be more curious, open, and spontaneous because you have no predetermined desire or craving
  • You’ll be more peaceful and less neurotic, meaning that your relationships and friendships will drastically improve
  • You’ll feel consistently relaxed and serene because you’re not identifying with your thoughts and feelings (and instead you’re witnessing them as a “passive observer”)
  • You’ll be more resilient in the face of loss and death because you’re not attached to people and realize that all things are ephemeral
  • You’ll feel a sense of expansive freedom because you’re no longer a slave to the mind
  • You’ll feel a sense of wholeness because you don’t need or want anything in particular, you’re happy just as you are in the present moment
  • You’ll feel more love for yourself and others because you’re not attaching to beliefs and expectations about who you/others “should” be or what “shouldn’t” happen – you’ll give yourself and other people freedom to be themselves without judgment
  • You’ll experience more synchronicity as life unfolds effortlessly and naturally
  • You’ll no longer be addicted to “getting” things or filling an empty hole in yourself because you’re content and don’t attach to the belief that someone or something will “complete” you
  • You’ll feel more grounded and connected to life because you’re not lost in thought-based attachments – you’ll actually participate in life more fully
  • Your mind will become clear and you’ll be able to perceive the truth more easily
  • You’ll feel gratitude, love, compassion, and happiness permeate your life as you have let go of the need to chase happiness (which creates unhappiness)

Put non-resistance and non-judgment together with non-attachment, and you have a recipe for complete inner peace. Why? When we stop resisting life and judging things to be “good” or “bad,” we naturally let go of a lot of anger, hatred, fear, and sadness.

The Mistake of Attaching to Non-Attachment

After hearing about non-attachment the tendency of the mind is to instantly fire up and start masterminding ways of “achieving” non-attachment. But be careful! Even the desire to want no desire is still a desire!

The whole point of non-attachment is to begin paying attention to your thoughts. What occupies your mind all day? What drives you? In what ways are you seeking happiness from the external world rather than the internal world? Non-attachment is a concept that helps us to explore what is happening within us … but at the same time, it can easily become yet another attachment. So pay attention. Be wary of allowing non-attachment to become yet another “Trophy” you’re trying to add to your spiritual cabinet because it doesn’t work that way. It is impossible to practice true non-attachment when we’re attached to the desire to be non-attached.

How do we prevent this (largely overlooked) attachment from happening? We’ll explore that next.

How to Stop Being Attached to Thoughts, Feelings, People, and Circumstances

Non-attachment is usually the byproduct of spiritual practices such as self-discovery, self-acceptance, and self-love. Here are some useful ways to begin letting go of habits, desires, and thought-patterns that no longer serve you:

1. Stop looking for happiness in external things

When we chase happiness by believing that someone or something outside of ourselves can make us happy, we suffer. In fact, the pursuit of happiness is the greatest form of attachment there is in society. Instead, try to direct your attention inwards. At first, seeking happiness from within can be extremely difficult as we’ve been conditioned to find “happiness” in material things, accomplishments, titles, and people. But with practice, you will start to find the peaceful center within you known as your soul. Regularly setting aside time to be quiet and still with yourself can help you tune into this inner space.

2. Let go of the “shoulds” and “musts”

How do you approach life? Are the words “should” and “must” a big part of your vocabulary? Expectations (which are mental attachments) are always prefaced with one of these two words, for example, “He should be nicer,” “I must achieve this or I will be a failure,” “They should stop doing that immediately.” Pay attention to the use of these two words and how they reflect in your behavior. Are you believing that something “should” happen or someone “must” be a certain way? Let it go. You cannot change people. Allow life to flow without imposing useless expectations onto it.

3. Practice allowing

Allowing is about permitting life to be just as it is. Allow your thoughts. Allow your emotions. Allow things to not go the way you expected. In the words of Abraham Hicks, “The Art of Allowing is the art of finding my alignment, and therefore, living in joy no matter what’s happening around me.” By allowing life to happen, you stop resisting and suffering ceases.

4. Make friends with uncertainty

We control, obsessively plan, and try to predict things out of pure fear. But the problem is that the more we resist uncertainty, the more paranoid, anxious, and tense we become. When we learn to embrace uncertainty and to allow life to unfold as it wants, we don’t experience fear anymore – instead, we feel calm, curious, and open to all possibilities. This openness allows us to adopt a playful attitude towards life because we’re no longer limited by fearing the unknown. Sometimes a simple shift in mindset can help you befriend uncertainty instead of loathe it. For example, instead of dreading “what will come around the corner” start perceiving the unknown as a big surprise waiting to happen.

5. Learn to observe your thoughts and feelings

The easiest way to observe your thoughts and feelings is through a regular daily meditation practice. I recommend trying Vipassana meditation as it helps you to stay grounded while discovering with first-hand experience that you are not your thoughts: your thoughts are simply fluctuations of energy that rise and fall like waves in the ocean. The more you incorporate thought-awareness into your life, the more readily you’ll see how irrelevant many thoughts are: they only mean something when you assign them meaning. When you don’t give thoughts importance, they cease to cause you pain.

6. See how transient all things are

Look around you and try to find something that will last forever. Who or what will last eternally? The reality is that all things will sooner or later die. By reminding yourself of this fact, you will start living life as fully and completely as possible. Seeing the transience of life is deeply saddening but also gives us the opportunity to experience true joy. If everything lasted forever, what a boring thing life would be! Death helps us to appreciate life. So appreciate it while you have it. Furthermore, use this recognition to fuel your pursuit to find that which doesn’t change, or that which is eternal. Start looking within and you will be surprised … or more than surprised, ecstatic!

 

Source

Waking Times – 8 Steps to Towards Non-Attachment – – Spiritual Cleansing – 8-22-15

Flickr - Free Bird - Luz Adriana Villa A.

Déesse Indigo, Contributor
Waking Times

During our lives, we tend to form many attachments to various types of things. Many of us are so attached to the physical world that we become enslaved and possessed by the very things we adore.

Detachment is when someone has complete freedom from all that is seen or heard and doesn’t let any possessions take control of them. Practicing non-attachment gives us power over our emotions and feelings in relation to the attachments in our life.

Many people wonder, why does detachment matter? Why does it matter whether or not we’re attached to something? The answer is simple, if we’re not careful our attachment can lead to tragedy and heartbreak when change takes its unstoppable course. Attachment is the root cause of our suffering. Non-attachment is the ultimate form of self-mastery.

The first and most important concept when trying to incorporate non-attachment into your life, is consciously acknowledging that everything that’s manifested in our physical world is temporary, not forever.

When you notice your attachment to anyone or to anything, ask yourself the following questions: “Why do I really desire this? What permanent advantage would I gain by possessing this? How would this possession help me towards greater knowledge and freedom?” Over and over again, the answers to these questions show us that the desired thing is useless in the long term and also may be potentially harmful by driving us into ignorance and bondage. Sometimes we may become aware that the things we desire, is something simply to fulfill a mere restlessness in the mind.

The mental state of non-attachment may come slowly, but even during the earliest stages of practice are rewarded by a sense of peace and freedom. Guaranteed success will come from being consistent with this spiritual discipline.

*

Practice Non-Attachment in 8 Steps

1. Ask yourself what realistic permanent advantage you should gain if you possessed your desire.

2. Let go of your attachment to money by making a donation or helping out someone in need.

3. Befriend yourself- your self-worth should come from within you, not from other peoples approvals.

4. Don’t seek security in people or things.

5. Overcome your attachment to entertainment

6. Let go of the need to be dominate or influential over others.

7. Stop living in an illusion- don’t overly attach yourself to your possessions or even your hopes and dreams.

8. Understand that all things naturally come and go. It’s unavoidable.

Non-attachment is easily misunderstood by many people as they might interrupt it as having to give up their possessions to feel “free”. This is far from the truth. Detachment is simply not feeling owned by the things you possess or desire.

There will be moments when impatience of frustration arises. But that’s alright as long as you allow the emotions to rise and dissolve. Do not feed or fuel the negative emotions.

The Benefits of Non-Attachment

  • Expectations no longer rule your life.
  • You see things for the way they are.
  • You’re not bothered much by the physical world (but you don’t tolerate harmful behavior).
  • Your heart grows even bigger and you love more because you don’t feel the need to control everything.
  • You’re not attached to outcomes.
  • Detachment is releasing vibrational resistance, allowing the law of attraction to work effectively for you.
  • Be attached to nothing but be open to everything. Non-attachment is a freeing practice which will help you a lot when it comes to adjusting to change that takes place in the future.
About the Author

Déesse Indigo is a self help and Law of Attraction coach. On her free time, she loves to write simple essays for people to enjoy so they may grow or understand themselves better.

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This article is offered under Creative Commons license. It’s okay to republish it anywhere as long as attribution bio is included and all links remain intact.

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