Steve Beckow – Dense and Light Relationship Patterns – 3-8-15

love 345Again, I’m speaking from the awareness path, where we make of ourselves the object of study. We become the laboratory, the workshop and the experiment.

Every day we observe ourselves and share our noticings.

The awareness path stresses personal responsibility so we don’t find ourselves watching what others do, but rather listening to their shares and noticings with neutrality and acceptance … well, I guess I can say, with unconditional loving.

It was this training from the growth movement that assisted me to have even a modicum of a normal life given my inherited patterns.

Awareness, like love and the other divine attributes, is the grand solvent in the universe. Once something is raised to awareness, and fully allowed to deliver its message, it passes from our field of experience.

I notice others are also immersed in core issues so I don’t feel so alone here. I wonder how many of us have fallen away from lightwork in this latest phase of intense clearing.

No need to worry. Those who have will be back at the first exciting news.

I myself am going deeper and deeper into my core issues. In a sense I’m reparenting myself, supplying a deficiency in male parenting.  I’m also having to get beyond certain ways I had of seeing things: that I needed to be a warrior to stand up to the cabal, name them, and name their crimes.

That was then. This is now. The ways of the warrior are no longer what are needed.

But it isn’t just processing individual issues that I’m doing at the moment. I’m starting to see how they cluster. Perhaps I could give you a summary.

I’ll also give the opposite of the pattern, in the event that that proves productive. (I’m sure it will.)

Dense Relationship Patterns and Their Opposites

Resist Cooperate
Resent Bless
Revenge Assist
Defensive Be Neutral
Belligerent Be Peaceful
Outcaste Be Inclusive
Dismay Rejoice
Depresssion Be Inspired
Alone Belong
Lonely Be Satisfied

This is a summary of the intergenerational relationship patterns I’ve seen so far. They create dense energy, along the lines of what the Divine Mother said on An Hour with An Angel, March 5, 2015. “Density of the human form is caused by unloving emotions.” (1)

The dense, unconscious patterns of my paternal line move me from resistant to oppositional to isolated.  And I usually end up not knowing how I got there.

Some features of being defensive are (1) I see the situation as me defending myself against hurt or attack, (2) I justify my own role in events, and (3) I fail to see how I caused the situation. There’s no personal responsibility here and hence no personal power.

Both my Dad and I wanted to be left alone for vast swathes of time. He’d work in his basement woodworking shop and I’d read in my room. I’d usually read a book a day. And then I’d build dioramas – dinosaurs, soldiers, an airport. As long as I stayed away from Dad, I was usually OK.

Because we wanted to be left alone, we had a higher tolerance for solitude. Loneliness would not hit us quite as easily as it might others. But, when our relationships began to break down, loneliness would rear its ugly head.

Neither of our patterns ever worked in relationship. They had to be tolerated by those who could find no way out (wives, children, relatives) or denied or worked around. Some way of coping had to be found.

But they persisted because (1) I was unaware of them, (2) I chose the familiar, (3) they were all I knew, and (4) they worked to bring me the solitude I wanted. The price of course was high for all concerned.

Light Relationship Patterns

What I listed under the “opposites” column, above, were individual approaches for staying related, connected, unconditionally loving.

The Company of Heaven has been stressing more general approaches that guide us in responding to others with unconditional love:

Being grateful
Unconditionally Loving

If I look at the light patterns, all of them are either love in and of itself or else patterns that enable or agree with love.

Releasing the wounds I inflicted on myself made forgiveness unnecessary because I couldn’t remember anything that may have happened. That took care of resentments and so took care of revenge. And it cleared a space for unconditional love to arise.

Gratitude is like opening the door to unconditional love. It’s an expression of connection, openness, indebtedness, appreciation – and all of these usher in unconditional love.

Sharing is always an expression of peacefulness and caring. The true fruit of sharing cannot be had if we expect a return. Sharing is only productive for us if we give without thought of return. So sharing is itself only productive if unconditional.

Of course that doesn’t say we shouldn’t be open to receiving. Things get out of balance if we don’t. But we don’t give to receive. Nor is receiving necessary for us to feel that our life is working out. Unconditional love is necessary.

All of these are either conducive to unconditional love or else take us directly to it.  Unconditional love itself is for me the great secret. Shhhh…. Don’t tell anybody. Just be it.

If you tell anybody, they’ll probably yawn. But if you be it, people recognize it immediately and are attracted to like a bee to a flower, a moth to light.