DUANE – Are you Feeling Brave? – This article goes to all those places we might want to sweep under the rug. Please bookmark, esp. for spiritual work sessions. A strong dose of Self-Love will help us all to probe deeper. Much Love, my Friends.
Lisa Renee – Time Shift Blog – Anger is Dangerous
During the transition of moving from the Ophiuchus constellation, the wound healer, and moving into the fiery element of the Sagittarian influences, this phase of exposure to these cosmic forces that are transmitting from the Galactic Zodiac include various stages and intensities of healing crisis for many people. This time may include the rapid incineration of longstanding patterns of identity and the burning up of the old, painful and decrepit energies of the past. This is similar to the inner spiritual bonfire that can dissolve the constructs of the lower self and clear the attachments to negative beliefs and behaviors that result in energy parasites and thought form possession.
As many people on the planet endure forms of psychological, emotional and spiritual healing crisis, many may be feeling confused about the roller coaster of emotions they may be feeling. One of the most common forms that healing crisis can play out in groups of people, especially those without impulse control or self-awareness, is to get really frustrated and angry from not knowing how to express pent up emotions.
We have a lot of people on this earth who do not know how to handle or diffuse the intensity of pent up emotional anger that they feel bubbling up from deep inside themselves and sourcing from the collective consciousness. Our culture is not taught about the forms of anger, how to diffuse anger, how to gain control over personal impulses of anger, and how to get to the source of anger before it starts to take complete control over that person’s mind, emotions and body. It is important to recognize, now more than ever, expressing uncontrolled anger and violent outbursts without self-control is dangerous to you and dangerous to others. Expressing anger with violence only breeds more anger around you, and will infuse destructive energies into your life.
There are many misconceptions about anger and aggression and how to best cope with it. The most destructive misconception is that it is healthy or effective to display anger in hostile, aggressive or violent ways in order to allow that person to vent their anger impulses. When people act out their anger impulses in the heat of the moment, the results of that persons rage, hostility and violence, even if its momentary, is often destructive and tragic. People cannot make a clear and positive choice when they are stuck in feelings that cycle into rage or anger. Because they allow base negative emotions to take control over them, they are not trustworthy people, as one never knows what may set them off into a seething rage or outburst.
In the current terrain, most people that burst out into hostile anger are enduring short term thought form possession or dark entity possession. When a person loses control over their faculties, and allow hostile anger to take them over, they are used as a vessel to produce and direct energetic harm to themselves and to others. This is called a dark portal, which can be defined by observing a person’s negative behavior that is connected to forms of anger.
There are many forms of anger like: annoyance, irritation, aggravation, agitation, frustration, peeved, annoyed, miffed, sulking, offended, bitter, indignation, exasperation, incensed, pissed, outrage, hostile, spite, vengefulness, resentment, wrath, rage, fury, ferocity, and livid. All of these negative emotional states are risky if they are excessively indulged, and all people should be aware when they are feeling forms of anger, in order to maintain control over their faculties. Hate is also form of anger because when a person chooses to blame the other for their personal difficulties, that is the moment that person has decided to hate them. If hatred or anger is not resolved, the result of accumulated anger is bitterness and resentment, which are some of the most poisonous emotions for the body, mind, and spirit.
Many times people near that person that is expressing forms of anger can get hurt, and even get slimed by the intense bursts of negative energies, like aggression or seething rage. When a person loses control over their anger impulses, they are easily manipulated and they perceive the reality around them much differently, than a person who is calm. Think about this, who has better discernment of events happening in the moment, a person on a rage fest of angry spew or a person who is completely calm and observing the situation and can see the overview? Does the person who is spewing a rage filled blast of negativity into the environment and directing that destructive energy at other people, have any true clarity in that moment while he/she is on the middle of an angry tantrum? No, this is how tragic mistakes occur and people get hurt.
When we get into cycles of expressing uncontrollable rage or anger, our mind and eyes will see through a filter of rage, and that person becomes highly susceptible to delusions, and fabricating a false narrative in order to justify their negative behavior. A delusion is a belief that is held with strong conviction despite superior evidence to the contrary. When we lose control over our faculties from uncontrolled anger or rigid and inflexible thinking, we can only access very limited perceptions, such as false or incomplete information, confabulation, dogma, illusion, or other distortions of perception.
Obviously, if we are making life decisions based on false or incomplete information that is primarily based upon our undisciplined impulses, we are not making informed or aware choices, and this will propel us onto a path of creating more confusion and deception about our correct direction. When people allow themselves to discharge aggression, violence and anger, they put on a filter of anger that skews their vision and perception. Most of the time, people that have consistent outbursts of uncontrolled anger are easily used as dark portals, and whatever they perceive happening is not actually the accurate assessment of what is happening.
When a person allows themselves to be consumed by anger, they lose all control over their reasoning faculties, and they have little to no discernment about the true and accurate version of events. People that let themselves be carried away by forms of aggression or angry outbursts may defend the false ego narrative that led them to the conclusion that the anger outburst was necessary. Because they need to justify their anger, they will easily be led to fabricate a complete delusion about the actual events, because the truth is too unpleasant for them to actually deal with. Many times the truth is that they are unwilling to look at the real cause of the episodes of outbursts of anger, and are unwilling to take responsibility for the problems they have. It’s easier for their mind to make up stories, to fabricate an enemy that can be the object of all their projections and problems, thus rejecting any accountability for their personal actions.
A person unwilling to take responsibility for their angry outbursts are usually high stress controller types or manipulators, and in order to make themselves feel justified for their angry outburst, they will blame someone or something as the cause of their rage. This unwillingness to be accountable to personal actions can result in forms of projection or transference, which is a way to blame someone else for your own negative behaviors and aggressive displays. Thus, as more people feel a lot of inner anger, much of which they do not know how to cope with, they start to find people or things to blame as the direct cause of their anger and rage. We are going to drill this down further, in order to be able to see how anger is generated by improper thinking, the need to place blame on others, real or imagined, which leads to producing more pain, confusion and unhappiness in our life. Wrong actions formed by improper thinking generate more pain, anger and destruction. Right actions formed by right thinking, generate more happiness, love and harmony in our life.
Unfortunately, people often are confused by what is perceived incorrectly through their own need to be okay through self-justification of their negative behaviors, like displays of anger. Some people formulate these distortions as Ego Defense Mechanisms because they have not learned how to free their mind through the use of Negative Ego tools for deeper self-inquiry and to clear out pent up emotions that can lead to angry outbursts and destructive impulses. As we learn to free our mind and love ourselves unconditionally, we know that we are okay without needing to self-justify or defend who we really are that is related to ideas of self-worth.
When we are free of our own need for self-justification, (by increasing our inner self-approval and self-love, no matter where we find ourselves) then we do not need to justify others or justify ourselves, as well as resort to the blame game. We are then freed to be capable of unconditionally loving others no matter what they may be choosing to do in that moment. It is what it is in this moment. One has no control over others nor what others may think about them, based on whatever perceptions or beliefs that have been formed, whether its truth or lies. The quality of our thinking shapes our belief systems and attitudes and is the result of accumulated life memories and the personality filter which form perception, judgment, bias and skills or proficiencies.
The mind may distort information when the ego feels threatened, and that person will fabricate a storyline that fits into the reality they want it to be, rather than what it really is, in order to find a coping mechanism through the feelings of discomfort. When people are using a coping mechanism to self-justify, they present a one-sided argument that is incomplete and based on the faulty thinking of an selfish egoic perception. If we focus on the Spirit of Humility it reduces our need for self-justification and blaming others, which allows us to admit to and learn from our mistakes or negative ego behaviors. Humility is the key to help us overcome many of these thought form distortions which evolve into a host of ego defense mechanisms and delusional thinking. During times of stress, overload, or threat, people often resort to a simplistic form of thinking, called primal survival thinking.
Primal Survival Thinking
Primal thinking when it is repetitive and left unchecked, accumulates factors in people that they may start to believe are true when they are really deceptions they believe about themselves. When we are overstressed or overwhelmed we may go back to the “root” fears or the most primitive layers of the unconscious mind. It is only when we have arrived at a level of trust that we are secure and safe in this world, safe in our relationship with God spirit, that we can fully clear survival root fears and eliminate primal thinking. Whenever we feel unsafe or threatened, we go back to the root of our survival fears, which trigger ego defenses into base negative thoughts like fear.
This is why building the relationship to the core self and building the spiritual practice to deeply connect with our higher power is the most important practice all of us can do. This is the way ego discipline is formed and strength in the energetic foundation of one’s spiritual-energetic core is built. For an accurate assessment of reality and challenging circumstances, it is important to reexamine the situation using purposeful, valid, thoughtful, and accurate analysis that properly allows for the many complexities that we face on the planet today. We can blend a synthesis of the mental analysis of the evidence or facts, mixed with intuitive levels of Higher Sensory Perception in order to have better assessment ability and to understand, the accurate assessment of events of which we are involved.
When we identify these types of mental triggers that take us into distorted thought patterns, through noticing our tension, anxiety or frustration levels, we can switch back into the balance inside ourselves to find a way to release our stress. Immediately we can shift tension through refocusing our mind into breath, or refocusing into the current moment sensory-feeling awareness, or finding a nonviolent way to express the tensions we are feeling. By refocusing oneself at the moment tension or stress is being experienced, it prevents impulsive reactions such as blurting out negative words or expressing angry behaviors at others.
When we express angry behavior impulsively, it is not a pleasant or positive situation for ourselves or others around us. When we have allowed anger to make us impulsive it means we have embodied that angry state, which is not a healthy practice for anyone. Acting out impulsive anger can be very intimidating and bullying to others. This is very emotionally damaging in all people and it breaks trust in creating healthy and safe relationships with others. In most social situations, it is preferable to recognize anger and learn to observe that anger as it builds without allowing the angry state to overwhelm and take over one’s body, mind and emotions. It is possible to witness and feel anger instantaneously and to refocus that anger immediately, in so to refuse anger, hostility or violence to become your identity as a person. This is also demonstrated by having respect for others around you, in so that your angry spew is not vomited onto other people that are around or in the environment.
Impulse Control by Refocusing
As one learns how to refocus one’s thoughts in the moment, one prevents overwhelming states of emotion from triggering impulsive behaviors and angry reactions. As one develops strong impulse control they are learning a form of ego discipline through applied patience. If we check in and find that we do not like what we may be feeling, we can learn better the reasons for that by further shifting into the observer mode. In our community, we call that process of observing as shifting from identifying with a thought or feeling by moving ourselves into the compassionate witness.
As a Compassionate Witness we have no judgment of thoughts or feelings, we hold no judgment of what we are observing in the external, we only observe those thoughts and feelings in our self and others. When we can fully observe through our own Compassionate Witness, we then become neutral and centered and we have no need to exert control, direct harm or get angry. Then, we can immediately find relief from our inner anxiety, fears and a host of other negative thought distortions. This process is key to shifting ego defense mechanisms, clearing the thought addiction tendency and releasing the mental anxiety or fear of feeling emotional depth or pain. By continually using an ego defense mechanism to avoid facing the source causation of the anxiety or deeply rooted fear, (which is unresolved pain or trauma) we are only perpetuating the mental looping which uses denial of the truth in order to avoid feeling pain or discomfort. Denial of the truth is the seed of all deceptions and delusional fantasies that are generated from an unclear and undisciplined mind, which only leads to generating more frustration and anger.
Splitting is a very common Ego Defense Mechanism that occurs when a person is unwilling to know the truth, or take responsibility for their actions and behaviors. If the truth is unpleasant for them, they fabricate a story that is more acceptable to them to justify their belief system. This kind of person would rather listen to pleasant manipulations and deceptions in order to feel better, rather than actually know the truth if its unpleasant for them. Splitting can be defined as the division or polarization of beliefs, actions, objects, or persons into good and bad labels, by focusing selectively on a narrow and incomplete version of perceiving their positive or negative attributes.
Splitting diffuses the mental anxiety that arises from a person’s inability to grasp the nuances and complexities of a given situation or state of affairs by simplifying and schematizing the situation and thereby making it easier to think about and categorize. It also reinforces the sense of self as being labeled as good and virtuous, by effectively demonizing all those who do not share in the same opinions, perceptions and values. On the other hand, such a compartmentalization leaves people with a distinctly distorted picture of reality that creates self-delusions, and a restricted range of thoughts and emotions; it also affects our ability to attract and maintain healthy relationships. People with splitting tendencies are not mentally or emotionally stable, they flip flop between many sporadic impulsive states or outbursts of emotion.
Perceptions can easily flip, with friends and lovers being thought of as personified virtue at one time and then as personified evil at another time (and back and forth). Splitting also arises in groups, when members of the in-group are seen to have mostly positive attributes, whereas members of out-groups are seen to have mostly negative attributes – a phenomenon that contributes to group think and, indeed, inflexible attitudes and lack of acceptance for other people.
Exercise: Analyzing our anger can provide valuable insights into knowing yourself and to increase self-awareness. To analyze the anger you are feeling, begin by examining the perceived loss. Ask yourself:
- What have I lost? Is the loss real?
- What is its value to me?
- Why do I perceive this as important?
- Was this my loss or was it someone else’s? What are their views regarding this loss? How do you know? Why do you care?
- Do I feel insulted? Why? Has my ego been attacked? Have I lost some dignity? Was I ridiculed or humiliated? Has my reputation been damaged? Do I feel less competent? Was I denied fair recognition or reward? Is the insult groundless or is it an accurate interpretation of my behavior? What is the asymmetry that bothers me so much?
- Do I feel powerless? Have I lost autonomy? Do I feel cheated? Was I taken for a sucker? Was a trust betrayed? Was privacy breached?
- Was I coerced into submission or obedience?
- Have I been threatened, injured, struck, abused, attacked, or intimidated?
- Has anyone trespassed on my territory?
- Have my goals been thwarted? Have my freedoms been abridged? Is my safety or security reduced? Is my legacy diminished?
- Have I lost power? Have I lost stature? Have I lost strength? Have I lost influence? Have I lost access? Has a relationship been damaged?
- From a rational point of view, how big is this loss? What impact will it have? How can I recover? Can I just ignore the issue?
Your answers to these questions will provide valuable insights into gaining clarity about your values, beliefs, goals, and needs. Based on what you learn by asking these questions, complete the following sentence: I am angry because I have lost ______. This loss is important to me because I _________. (value, believe, want to achieve, or need). Once you have gained clarity on why you feel angry, then evaluate how strongly you still assess the sensation of loss or injustice.
Now identify the willful agent who is the target of your anger and examine their intent. Ask yourself:
- To what agent do I attribute this action? Who do I hold responsible?
- Did they act deliberately? How do you know? How can you check your assumption of intention?
- Do they consider themselves responsible for the action?
An agent is someone who acted deliberately. If you are angry because you stubbed your toe on the door your choice of agents is limited to: 1) the door, 2) the floor, 3) yourself, 4) someone who pushed you, or 5) Some innocent person who was not even in the room at the time. Note that the first two agents on the list cannot act willfully, and the last did not even act! The Fundamental Attribution Error—incorrectly attributing an action or intent to an agent—is a common mistake that people make. If you find yourself blaming an un-willful agent (e.g. the door or the floor) for your anger, perhaps the change that is needed is that you need to take more responsibility for your own actions.
In order to gain a more accurate assessment, we suggest using the GSF standard of practicing the Law of One in valuing empathy, compassion and kindness, holding a deep appreciation for another’s situation and point of view, as the basis for fairness and proper discernment in every situation, no matter whose fault you may think it is.
Origins, Archetypes, and the Plot of Anger
Anger encourages us to act on our sense of fairness. Anger may be interpreted in many of the following ways:
- A demeaning offense against me or what is perceived as mine.
- Interference with what we are intent on doing. Thwarted goals. Frustration.
- Intentional physical harm toward us; actual, threatened, or reasonably perceived,
- Intentional psychological or emotional harm toward us, including insult, humiliation, denigration, intimidation, or rejection,
- Disappointment in the performance of others we care about; we get most angry at the people we love the most,
- Witnessing the anger of another, especially when it is directed at you.
- The nonverbal message of anger to others is “get out of my way” or “I want to hurt you”.
Benefits and Dangers of Anger
The anger mechanism can provide important personal messaging about the state of wellbeing and consciousness we are experiencing in the moment. Here are some of those benefits:
- Anger tells us that something needs to change. Are you willing to make the changes required?
- Anger can provide the motivation to constructively change whatever it was that caused the anger. It can energize the fight for legitimate rights. It can motivate us to overcome oppression.
- Anger can provide the motivation to constructively correct an inequality. It urges us to act on our sense of fairness and justice.
- Anger can help to reduce or overcome fear and provide the energy needed to mobilize needed change.
- Anger sends a powerful signal that informs others of trouble or harm. It notifies the offender that you have perceived an offense.
- Anger can be a general response to an external stimulus that needs to be addressed or knowing that there are problems that need to be resolved.
One of the most dangerous features of anger is that expressing anger increases the anger of others around you and this incites violence and harm into the environment. This can lead to a rapid and dangerous escalation of destructive and painful energies spreading like a virus. People may try to harm the target of their anger, whether its justified or not. The impulse to harm is probably a central part of the anger response for most people, thus telling us it directly leads to committing actions of violence and brutality. While anger can be dangerous and must be constrained, it should be acknowledged for the reasons it is there, and not be denied, or covered up by deceptions and lies. When we learn to control our angry impulses, and stop directing regular angry outbursts at others, choosing instead to source our anger and be responsible for our own behavior, we start to help build our own sense of positively coping with stress, which helps to build our self-esteem and confidence. Self-esteem is what is needed to know that you can get through the challenges and stressors of everyday life without fear or feeling threatened by others because they have different belief systems or perceptions.
Building Self Esteem
Building self-esteem formally is the outlook to experience oneself as competent and adequate to cope with the basic challenges of life and worthy of happiness and fulfillment. Others (parents, teachers, friends) can nurture and support self-esteem in an individual, but true self-esteem relies upon various internally generated practices and positive belief systems and motivations. To be responsible to take care of oneself, and face stress competently and confidently is one way of building a strong base for self-esteem. In Nathan Branden’s framework, there are six pillars of generating and building self-esteem which help people to better cope with stress and anger:
- Living consciously: the practice of being aware of what one is doing while one is doing it, i.e., the practice of mindfulness.
- Self-acceptance: the practice of owning truths regarding one’s thoughts, emotions, and behaviors; of being kind toward oneself with respect to them; and of being your own good friend.
- Self-responsibility: the practice of owning one’s authorship of one’s actions and of owning one’s capacity to be the cause of the effects one desires.
- Self-assertiveness: the practice of treating one’s needs and interests with respect and of expressing them in appropriate ways.
- Living purposefully: the practice of formulating goals and of formulating and implementing action plans to achieve them.
- Personal integrity: the practice of maintaining alignment between one’s behaviors and convictions. Speaking in alignment to your true and authentic self.
Getting more clarity on the source of our own stress and anger and using the tools to refocus our mind in order to gain control over our personal impulses is a critical skill needed during these turbulent times. If you are not in control of your mental and emotional impulses, something else will take over your mind and emotions, and as a result, you are a high risk for exposure to manipulation, delusions, and possession as a dark portal. In addition to being easily manipulated by the world of forces and other people, you will also lose all discernment in clarity, accurate assessment, self-determination, sovereignty and personal truth. This is an important survival skill for all Starseeds, Indigos and awakening people to be able to see the risk and signs of people around us that are run by uncontrollable forms of anger and emotional outbursts, and to recognize they are people traumatized in pain, and are not people that have accurate perceptions of events or act with ethical conduct to demonstrate solid trustworthiness. Above all at this time, learn to be kind and develop true humility in all situations, gain control over your impulses and diffuse anger, as it will serve you in boundless ways in the longer term.
(Source: Ascension Glossary, Ego Defense Mechanism, Emotional Competency, Anger link )
Lot’s of major angst out there to be sure, my friends, so how do we “deal” with the anger and discontent we are seeing EVERYWHERE? I have to remind myself that I AM an observer, and choose not to participate in the throes of this dying 3D civilization. What kind of changes will be happening […]
Summary of Brenda’s October 7, 2016, channeled, 15-minute “Creation Energies” show at http://www.BlogTalkRadio.com/brenda-hoffman: The next few days, you’ll solidify your place in 5D via better understanding the courage of those enmeshed in the earth chaos of floods, volcanic eruptions, etc., as well as those remaining steadfast in 3D fear and power grabbing. All are volunteering so that you and more and more others fully shift from fear to joy. Earth chaos events open your hearts, and 3D fear at all levels points out who you no longer wish to be.
“You’re of the 3D Audience Now” is the title of this week’s “Brenda’s Blog” – her weekly, channeled blog for www.LifeTapestryCreations.com.
Brenda’s “Creation Energies” show and “Brenda’s Blog” contain different channeled information.
Many of you are feeling deep anger. Anger because you have not yet created what you want. Anger at politicians. Anger at earth eruptions. Anger at those people who will not allow you to be you. And anger at anger.
You believed you shifted beyond deep anger – that your world would be joyously happy by now. Yet, you are angry about so many parts of your life.
This anger is about what you do not have. Even though such a concept is selfish in 3D terms, here you are.
Such anger is yet another piece of self-love. For it is more about all that you accepted or did not accept for yourself in past earth lives than what is happening in your current life. All those hurts in which you denied yourself are coming to the surface. So that now something that ordinarily would not have bothered you requires hours, maybe even days of anger.
All is well and good for that anger indicates you are truly accepting yourself. Of course, such a thought seems counterintuitive for where is the joy?
Even though joy is your goal, joy can only be achieved through self-love. So it is you are cleansing those pieces related to self-betrayal that you placed deep within you throughout the eons.
Your anger is balancing your earth eons of self-denial.
Allow yourself to feel this anger – it is not bad nor a return to 3D. Your anger merely indicates that self-love has become your priority.
Now many of you are clamoring – because you are angry – this is not the life you expected. “Where’s my joy? Where’s the fun in anger?”
You will achieve your joy, but not if you hold your self-love ransom with the unworthiness you have stuffed within your earth beings for eons.
To accept your joy, self-love, you have to fully honor and respect yourself. So it is you are discarding those pieces deep within you that allowed you to feel not worthy of reward or self-love.
Perhaps this round-about way of discovering your true worth seems wrong. Should there not be a good witch waving a magic wand, so you do not have to feel this deep anger? Should it not be easier to love yourself?
Please remember that the stages you are completing to love yourself – and this transition – are en masse events. You, as a group, determined the direction, time frame and outcome of this transition. Your directive was to shift the earth to 5D or beyond. How you achieved that goal was entirely up to you and your cohorts.
En masse you decided your physical being could not withstand this particular stage until the self-love energies of the past few weeks bombarded your being and anyone else open to internalizing them.
As a result, earth and earth beings are far different from what was true a mere five or six weeks ago. Others, besides yourself, are declaring their freedom from those who wish to control them, from the fear energies that have floated about earth for eons, from anything that halts their dreams or directions.
You are rapidly becoming part of an underground, internal revolution of, “I’m not going to take it anymore. This part of earth history is done, a new chapter is beginning – and I’m part of that new chapter.”
So it is you will discover a greater and greater divide between those who accept self-love and those who are afraid of it.
Such is part of your current anger. “How can they not see they are powerful enough not to require a leader? That they can create their world within the energies of New Earth, that is bigger and better than anything anyone outside themselves can promise or create?”
These thoughts do not require you to leave your home, relationship, job, or community. Instead, these thoughts are a call to your new being to dare to be. So it is you are becoming angry enough to say to YOURSELF, “I’m not going to take it anymore.”
Anticipate many unexpected interactions.
You are a new being discovering how truly capable you are via clearing those pieces of unworthiness that you have hidden from yourself for eons.
But you have yet to discover a better way of clearing those pieces other than anger. Those who follow will clear their lack of self-worth more easily and rapidly because of you.
You are courageous scout masters astounding everyone – including yourself. So be it. Amen.
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All of us, I feel fairly certain, believe that forgiveness is a positive quality. But the fact that religion has been the traditional basis for finding forgiveness has made it seem quite often that there’s something saintly, or at the very least unusually gentle, compassionate, and selfless in those who can forgive. Since the current project is to create a wave of forgiveness with a global reach, I think forgiveness needs to be brought down to earth.
To begin with, forgiveness comes at the end of a process, not at the beginning. In order to forgive yourself or another person, three obstacles must be overcome. Let’s call them the three dragons of judgment, anger, and blame. Each has had powerful effects in everyone’s life. Millions of people feel justified in clinging to their own dragons, and it takes conviction to realize that nothing about judgment, anger, and blame actually serves anyone’s self-interest.
The reason that we cling to our dragons is out of a belief that they somehow serve us. In medicine we call this a secondary benefit, as when a child with tonsillitis gets to stay home from school and eat ice cream after his tonsils are removed — that’s a secondary benefit of being sick. The three dragons also have secondary benefits even though they represent a psychological malady.
Judgment has the benefit of making you feel righteous, justified, morally superior, and on the good side of “us versus them” thinking.
Blame has the secondary benefit of shifting responsibility to someone else, escaping moral scrutiny, and having no need to examine your part in the conflict.
Anger has the benefit of justifying revenge, providing an outlet for hostility and aggression, and keeping you safe from fear, which is a much harder emotion to deal with than anger.
As a practical matter, then, the process of forgiveness is about choosing to renounce these secondary benefits. Why make such a choice? Leaving aside the people who have inculcated forgiveness as a moral or spiritual virtue, someone has to actually experience the advantages of forgiveness. The proof of the pudding is in the eating, and fortunately, almost everyone who has walked the path to forgiveness testifies that they feel much better personally without the burdens of judgment, blame, and anger. Second-hand testimony is a helpful motivation, but realistically, it’s a minor factor compared with the personal sensation of defeating your own dragons.
I’d like to encourage anyone who wishes to become a unit of peace in the world to consider walking the path of forgiveness, and so as a practical matter, let me simplify it — in essence, the following things are necessary.
A Path to Forgiveness: 7 Key Steps
Find your own peace through meditation, yoga, or other contemplative practice.
Renounce the illusion that you can change someone else’s morality or worldview.
Know that you can do more to change the world by who you are than by anything you can say or teach.
Take responsibility for nonviolence in your speech and actions.
Address the issues of judgment, blame, and anger in yourself.
Associate with like-minded people who are committed to peace and forgiveness.
Adopt a vision of the highest possibilities for humankind.
If you pay attention to one or more of these steps every day, you will bring the power of self-awareness into play, and self-awareness is the level of the solution. Talking about forgiveness, struggling to overcome your own judgment, blame, and anger, even vowing to have no enemies in the world — these are good intentions that need a level of peace consciousness in order to be truly lasting and effective.
What I’m calling upon here is a merging of spiritual and moral values with psychological realism. A mind filled with judgment, blame, and anger has trained the brain to favor those pathways. Forms of violence become habitual when they are paralleled by pathways in the brain that have turned into the path of least resistance. The more you favor intolerance and prejudice, the easier they become. People who now see reason to abandon blame and judgment have turned those attitudes into default positions that their brains click into. It’s important to take seriously the numerous studies in social psychology that show something we all wish wasn’t true: The more you offer anyone rational reasons for letting go of a harsh prejudice or fixed opinion, the more strongly they cling to those prejudices and opinions.
By the same token, the most effective negotiators are those who enter a situation showing respect for both sides of the dispute — that’s because peace consciousness lowers the other person’s defensiveness. So we have already listed several reasons why forgiveness is personally beneficial:
You feel lighter and more unburdened.
You no longer allow judgment, blame, and anger to be in control of your responses.
You will be more effective in situations where conflicts need to be settled.
You are undertaking a change that will free your brain up from a mindless default setting.
This perspective will help you to consider the path to forgiveness, but the hard reality is that trying to be more peaceful raises a threatening specter. A voice inside warns, “If you forgive the bad guys, they only get stronger, and in the end you lose.” To bolster this warning, there are lots of frightening historical examples, such as the appeasement with Hitler that allowed him to invade helpless countries without fear of reprisal. Everywhere that evil and bad faith must be opposed, from Kosovo to ISIS, from the concentration camps to the Gulag, the power of forgiveness seems not just feeble but immoral.
For this reason, we are all fence-sitters about both peace and forgiveness. We pick and choose when to fight and when to forgive. We blame the people it’s impossible to forgive and make peace mostly with those who already want to make peace. Gandhi faced a tottering British Empire that was ready to make concessions; we have no Gandhis who stopped Attila the Hun. When it comes to fence-sitting, the following points may help to promote more forgiveness.
First, be easy with yourself. Forgive whom you can. Make the right gestures and keep making them, but don’t struggle to forgive someone you simply feel doesn’t deserve it. You aren’t meant to become a saint, only a unit of peace consciousness.
Second, allow yourself to evolve. Forgiveness is a path. The more you walk it, the more your awareness expands, and the possibilities of peace, compassion, kindness, and forgiveness expand at the same time, because these are qualities of consciousness once resistance has been removed.
Third, obey the practicalities without becoming a slave to them. As a practicality, criminals need to be caught, tried, and sometimes imprisoned. But to use this as a justification for revenge, cruelty, fear, and social feuding is to become a slave to wrongdoing. “Love the sinner but hate the sin” is a dictum almost impossible to live up to, but the distinction makes sense.
A world in conflict has always been with us. Fear, war, violence, retribution, and “us versus them” thinking have been in place since recorded time. But humankind evolves, and we are unique among all living creatures in holding the power of evolution in our own hands. A forgiveness initiative brings something new to the evolutionary table. For every person who becomes a unit of peace consciousness, the future changes even as the present is uplifted.
This post is part of a series produced by The Huffington Post and “Forgive for Peace,” in conjunction with the UN’s International Day of Peace (Sept. 21, annually). The International Day of Peace is devoted to strengthening the ideals for peace, both within and among all nations and peoples. Forgiveness is the first step on the path toward Peace and therefore the Forgive for Peace Campaign was established. It also marks an annual day of non-violence and calls for a laying down of arms to bring about a 24-hour cease fire on September 21st. To learn more about Forgive for Peace, visit here.
Perhaps I could make a few comments as preamble. In what seems at times a loveless, (1) 3D world, we’ll purchase what we want at the price or cost of feeling pain. Or dishing it out to others.
Pain is what we give and what we receive. The dense vibrations and our social conditioning lead us to traffic in pain.
For instance, we often choose being right over being happy, being angry over being loving, or being vengeful over being forgiving. Whatever our pattern is, we often seem to prefer pain to love.
Just a minute ago I was on a street corner. The man in front of me was standing more or less in the street. A car rounded the corner and honked at him just before turning. Instead of stepping back onto the curb, the man stepped forward, knocked on the passenger’s window, and called it “honking back.” Addiction to pain.
Moreover, it was all I could do not to frown at him or express my disapproval in other ways. Addiction to pain.
In a relatively-loveless, Third-Dimensional state, self-righteousness and anger can feel good. For a while.
We feel triumphant. We feel vindicated. We sell out to and settle for these feelings, in the absence of love.
But later it feels awful. And it eventually becomes a world view, a false grid: Get them before they get you. Eat or be eaten. It’s a harsh. dog-eat-dog world.
I remember in the 1990s reading the business literature that represented the world as being full of sharks eating everyone else’s lunch. Sociologists called this viewpoint Social Darwinism. This is how it came to be that way.
Moreover, in a loveless world, when things escalate, our vasanas are triggered. We erupt. The sleeping volcanoes awaken.
In a world characterized by love, a conditioned addiction to pain would probably never attract us. But we may not see any of that while living in a loveless state.
Sometimes I don’t see very far at all as a matter of fact. I react like a stimulus/response machine. I’m in a dumbed-down, robotic state. Mechanical. Listless.
With that as preamble, let’s now hear what AAM said on the subject:
S: Can you explain what you mean by addiction to pain? Addiction to pleasure I can understand, but not pain. What is addiction to pain?
AAM: Addiction to pain is one of the most common addictions on the planet.
S: Really? Is that like my addiction to anger?
AAM: Yes. All addictions are addictions to pain.
S: Wow. The concept escapes me. I don’t know why.
AAM: If you scratch the surface, they are all about pain. They are all self-injurious.
S: Why would somebody want that? Addiction to me means you want something; in this case, you want pain?
AAM: A lack of love is the way the old Third was constructed.
AAM: Yes, that was how you were all held captive. You all became addicted to pain.
S: Pain. But pain hurts. Why would anybody want pain?
AAM: So that you could feel that you were in control.
S: In control of what?
AAM: You have seen teenagers who cut their arms.
S: Yes, cutters.
AAM: And the reason they cut their arms is that physical pain jumps in front of the emotional pain.
S: Oh. So a cutter is a metaphor for what you’re talking about.
S: Ok. I’ll look a little more into cutters and that may allow me to get a handle on this. (2)
Cutters take a razor and cut themselves. It brings them back to the present moment, apparently. The physical pain is the only thing that can supersede the emotional pain, if I understand the matter rightly.
I have a similar example from my own past. Anger would fuse the Humpty Dumpty Man back together again. I was then decisive, definite, confident, in word and deed – for as long as I was angry. I’d have a short burst of power, which felt wonderful, followed by a long burst of misery.
So the shattered man became addicted to anger. If I substitute “addiction to anger” for “addiction to pain,” I get the notion immediately.
In a loveless (1) state, vengeance, triumph, arrogance, selfishness all feel good at some level. All feel pleasurable for a moment but awful afterwards.
But by then we’ve forgotten the original stimulus we’re responding to. There’s space between the two and, in our sluggish, 3D state, we may not see them as related.
We don’t get that A caused B. Rather, life did it to us. It dealt us a miserable hand, etc. We say that life hands us A’s one moment and B’s the next and conclude that life is a mixed bag. This conclusion becomes part of our vasana.
We end up feeling victimized by life. We didn’t cause these results; life did. We see no way out from a loveless state if left to our own inadequate devices and responses. We’re addicted to a world of pain and pain is what the world brings us in generous quantities. Karma. Destiny. Fate.
I’m not saying that this is what AAM was referring to. I’m saying that this is what comes up for me when I allow his words to rest in my consciousness.
The most deadening script, the chief obstacle that I have in this area is the belief that love doesn’t last, that it fades with disagreements.
How many times have I said in my life that things went well for the first six weeks and then that was it? But have I ever noticed that I had a script around it, that I scripted life that way, and followed my script religiously? No.
To see that I do is the realization that will cause the matter to shift. Just being with it, allowing awareness to act as a solvent.
It’s important for me to know, important for me to acknowledge, and important for me to let the pattern go. But I cannot let go of something I don’t know about and don’t even know is there. It isn’t that I don’t know something. It’s that I didn’t know I didn’t know.
Whether or not I’m finished with my vasanas, the Tsunami is finished with them. As it continues to increase in intensity, it’s bringing up all our issues and resolving them. Our kicking and screaming is purely optional, strictly additional addiction to pain.
The Tsunami is bringing in a better world. Archangel Michael described it pretty compellingly here.
S: Where do you want me to go next?
AAM: I want you to come to Heaven. I want you to know what Heaven on Earth feels like. I want you to wake up in the morning and feel that sense of expansiveness in your chest like it is bursting out, that you are so filled with a sense of love and wellbeing and potential that you can hardly control it.
S: I’d love that.
AAM: This is your new addiction.
S: Addicted to love. I got it.
AAM: Yes. (2)
Now that’s a better place. Sounds great to me.
Addicted to pain? Yes, I was. And I can see it now. And so it becomes possible to be addicted to love.
Everything about this domain the Tsunami makes available is new. I’m not sure if I can just relax into it or must work my way through it.
And then I recall AAM’s final advice: Just breathe.
Written by Wes Annac, The Culture of Awareness
Concluded from Part 1
Paul Ferrini tells us that “You cannot be in the heart if you are worried or angry.” (1)
It’s much harder to attain a heart-centered flow if we’re in a negative frame of mind, and opening ourselves to spirit is far, far easier when we’re already willing to feel an immense amount of love. Anger turns us cold; takes us away from the warmth of the heart space and the divine gifts it offers.
We have no reason to keep letting this quality distort our growing spiritual perception, but if we do, we’ll continue to hold ourselves back from the perceptual gifts the divine offers. If we can maintain a constant, loving frequency by using self-discipline to refrain from anger, our spiritual connections will be much more enjoyable and free-flowing.
Proverbs 16:32 tells us that “He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.” (2)
‘He that is slow to anger’ is likely the same as ‘he that ruleth his spirit’, because refraining from anger requires self-mastery and control over the woes of the mind. We’ll find that our efforts to refrain were very worth it, however, because in the higher realms, we’ll see, feel, and know everything we did on earth.
We’ll look back on our experiences from the blissful higher dimensions, and some of us might wish we held our anger back a few times and chose love and joy over the destructive, lower qualities. The more we choose love, the more the planetary vibration will grow and the happier we’ll be when we look back on our experiences.
We’ll know that we did everything we could to raise our vibration and that of the world around us, and we’ll feel satisfied enough with our efforts that, hopefully, we won’t choose to do something as foolhardy as incarnating on another extremely lower-vibrational planet again.
Some of us are pretty headstrong, though, and we might do it all again if we’re given the choice. Oh, how I pray I won’t be this headstrong again!
In Proverbs 15:1, we’re told that “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.” (3)
I think this quote refers to the importance of our every word and expression, as well as the vibration they carry. Like I said earlier, we emit a constant frequency, and this is especially true for the words we speak.
Our vibration’s very pure and potent when we emit a loving and peaceful frequency, but when we feel so low that we’re comfortable expressing anger or similar emotions, our vibration’s very dense and we keep ourselves from the greater love we can otherwise feel.
We don’t have to keep ourselves from it any longer, and anything that’d try to convince us otherwise is pure illusion. We’re the masters of our expressions, and we can use them for a higher purpose that’ll raise the vibration of everyone who’s been too rooted in darkness to understand the importance of the things they think, say, and do.
According to Bodhidharma, letting go of our dualistic perceptions of anger andjoy will free us from karma.
“Once you know that the nature of anger and joy is empty, and you let them go, you free yourself from karma.” (4)
I recommend embracing joy and a greater, more loving perception, but I recognize that my viewpoint is a little dualistic. Our goal is to liberate ourselves from duality, after all, and we won’t do much good by fleeing one side of the dualistic pole in favor of another.
Balance, then, becomes a favorable route to take. I haven’t examined a lot of material about balance, but due to some of the things I’ve experienced, I’m increasingly convinced that it’s an important and helpful quality for anyone who wants to leave the lower vibrations and the karma associated with them behind.
Paramahansa Ramakrishna tells us that people who’ve realized Source are capable of anger, but their anger’s temporary and fleeting.
“The anger and lust of a man who has realized God are only appearances. They are like a burnt string. It looks like a string, but a mere puff blows it away.” (5)
Realizing Source doesn’t automatically liberate us from anger – it’s up to us to act on our newfound understanding and liberate ourselves from it. We aren’t automatically infallible because we realize or believe certain things, and what we do with our beliefs is more important than anything else.
I don’t think the things we believe and advocate are as important as we think. It’s how we use our perspective that counts, and if we believe in positive, spiritual things but still routinely express negativity, we’ll hold ourselves and everyone else back from the qualities we want to see the rest of the world adopt.
It’s up to us to show the way by transcending any and every lower quality that holds us back, and even though most of us aren’t there yet, we’ll get there if we make an effort.
Like Bodhidharma, Adyashanti transcends our dualistic perception of anger and joy, telling us that it’s impossible for a seeker not to get angry.
“There’s no such thing as never getting angry. Enlightenment can and does use all the available emotions. Otherwise, we would have to discount Jesus for getting pissed off in the temple and kicking over the table. The idea that enlightenment means sitting around with a beatific smile on our faces is just an illusion.” (6)
Even though I advocate choosing joy over anger if/when we have the choice, Adyashanti’s advice makes sense. We can’t deny any aspect of our lower and higher-dimensional existence, and to do so is to deny an aspect of ourselves.
Anger lives within, no matter how often its expressed at the surface, and if we turn away from our anger, we’ll only bury it within and leave it to sit, negatively affecting our physical, emotional, and spiritual health. We certainly shouldn’t take our attention away from anger, but instead, surface and heal it.
We can’t deny anger or anything else that stews within, but we don’t have to accept its presence either.
We can heal it if we really want to, and I recognize that going out of our way to choose joy over anger doesn’t help the situation. We don’t want to avoid or deny anything, and like we’ve already learned, acceptance is a big part of successfully traversing the path.
Adyashanti continues, telling us that when our vibration’s high enough, anger will never tempt us again.
“At a human level, enlightenment means that you are no longer divided within yourself, and that you no longer experience a division between yourself and others. Without any inner division, you stop experiencing most of the usual forms of reactivity.” (7)
We’ll lose the desire to be angry when we reach a higher state of consciousness, and we’ll start contributing to the pure vibrations being sent out from the higher realms and everyone who resides in them.
We won’t have to avoid anger, because we won’t have any more left to transmute and heal. We’ll have long stopped letting the woes and stresses of the mind keep us down, and we’ll be far too absorbed in our growing spiritual perception to want to toil in the lower vibrations again.
It’ll feel great to say the least, and I look forward to the time when nobody’s tempted by stress or anger anymore. We have to strive a little if we want to reach a pure state of consciousness where anger doesn’t exist, and once we’re there, it’ll be our duty to help billions of others get there too.
Anger, like plenty of other lower qualities, blocks our greater perception and prohibits us from living in the heart and feeling the divine flow that results. It’s also necessary for our growth out of the lower dimensions, and whether or not we advocate spirituality, we still have the potential to lose ourselves in darkness and the tendencies that feed it.
When we reach a certain purity of mind and heart, however, anger (and anything else that keeps the lower vibrations in place) will be a thing of the past. A lot of spiritual teachers have and will continue to tell us about anger and it’s destructive but ultimately necessary nature, and hopefully, their guidance will help those of you who tend to get lost in anger.
I’ve been there, and I can say from experience that it’s much less fun and rewarding than the path of spiritual evolution. Enlightenment is our goal, and to get there, we have to release our resistance and flow with whatever happens, making sure we don’t deny the existence of the lower qualities we want to transmute.
They certainly exist, and they’re ready to be healed. Are you ready to heal them and move on?
Wes Annac – One of many seekers who’s interested in healing anger and embracing love.