“I’m not sure that I fit in your world. I am too ‘low’. I am at times too ‘negative’. I still have pains from the past and wounds too. I still ache in deep places. I struggle to forgive at times. I struggle to feel compassion for myself and for others. I chase ghosts and shadows too. How can I find a place in your bright world? It feels like sunshine after so much darkness to me. I really need the love but I don’t know if I am worthy of it. I don’t know if I fit in.” These words are from the aching hearts of the parts of us that suffer, live in shadow, have journeyed so far and so long in this 3D experiment. They are wanting to be in the ‘world’ of our growing and awakening 4D/5D self, yet feel a deep unworthiness around how they can possibly fit into this high vibration. Inner Punisher energies inside just ‘reinforce’ this message and waves of shame shut down and suppress the desires for love.
I heard and felt this in myself the last couple of days as I am BEing with a part of me that has taken in much, been through much, many death and rebirths as my soul/higher self continues to come into my body through the awakening process. Many tears came up as I felt this energy inside myself. This part has textures of my 4D self…..this part of me is named Jillian, which is my birth name and the name I choose to go by when I began my awakening journey through parts work in earnest about 15 years ago. I was called Jill before then, who I now feel was more my 3D self. These distinctions of 3D from 4D matter much less than just BEing open to feeling all there is to feel with these aspects of ourselves.