Lisa Gawlas – The Ego – The Master of Matter!
Ahhh duality, the under appreciated, undervalued gift of life. We have two minds that absolutely MUST work together, in harmony with each other. The soul mind and the ego mind. The Master of energy and the Master of matter. Both brilliant task masters. Each very different from the other. When the ego is hard at work, it is working in the base emotions, concentrated, diligent and purposeful. The soul mind, swings from the tree tops in deLight. The soul mind is bringing all the particles of light together and funneling it to the ego, for use.
In the infancy of our new lives, the use is always a collective thing. All-ways. We have much to learn, to discern and disengage from, for it to be readily available to any one person, any one community.
I think yesterday was one of the greatest lessons to date, in understanding and truly valuing the duality within me, within us.
The field was down yesterday, or as God says, int burst into purposeful chaos, orgasmic bliss of itself. I was even showed a repeated visual of the sun bursting its magnetic fields on spaceweather.
Orgasms are like that, they burst the concentrated energy that was built up prior to that moment and releases it outwards.
So imagine my surprise, when the cosmic orgasm produced a phone call to me in the afternoon from the loan company, who just the day prior, approved my home equity loan, to say their may be a complication. I genuinely thought I owned the dirt beneath the trailer, turns out, nope, not really. I own 1/226th of a share in stonehenge. There are 226 mobile homes set up here and we all own a share in the entire community, as a whole. As the lady I talked to in the office said, I own my neighbors palm tree and they own mine. Well just shit! Without owning the land, there is no real equity. Especially given that this is a 1981 model. Like our cars, mobile homes depreciate no matter how much you have upgraded them.
The loan officer, feeling the tears in my voice, said he is going to talk to the funder to see if they can work around this, but chances are, they won’t.
When I am filled over the top with emotion, I do what I do best… put a blurb on facebook to just release it outwards and then can get to processing the rest. My heart in that moment, was truly shattered. Instead of getting a much needed hug… I got obscurities… something better coming, and stuff like that. Unless you are sending me a check for the balance of my teeth… no it’s not. And I realized, this is where most of us lose our steam. We actually do everything we can to stay out of our base emotions, to stay out of the master of matter territory, ego and we swing from the treetops professing something better is coming.
And why would we think for a single moment, having a broken heart, feeling deflated over something that was just a moment ago, hopeful, means we have moved out of our heart center. Unless we do not fully appreciate the tears of our own heart. Of our own desire changing and sometimes, that even means falling apart. If a plan, no matter how divine it is, does not catch wind, it will get grounded. Even this is sooo crucially important in our evolution of understanding our WHOLE self.
Let’s take a different look at this working model that is crucial. Imagine you have someone you love in a hospital bed, hanging on for dear life. Those that love that person gather around the hospital bed, hearts broken, heavy and praying like there is no tomorrow, and for that person in bed, there may very well be no tomorrow. That emotion is the greatest creator of all time. That heaviness is FULL of life’ Love at the base level of Life itself. It will facilitate more miracles than a 1000 people all around the world singing songs of hope. The heaviness of love and desire is not something to push away, but to be used!!
But man oh man, we don’t really like to get down and dirty. To ache for a better outcome. I do. I spent all night aching. It is simply the master of matter in my heart saying, ok… plan two. We will work on a plan two, or in this case, I think it’s like plan 5!! lol And trust me, I do not give up, but I know when to give in.
This morning, more separated from the disappointment of not actually owning the land beneath my trailer, I realized this working model here at Stonehedge, is actually a perfect working model for an enlightened community. Go figure. No one owns anything and everyone owns it All. (In this save, minus the trailers set up on the dirt.) Even what I pay in “maintenance fees” each month, we all chip in for the lawn care, the pest care, the cable, water and sewage and so on. There is a wisdom to the working model. Just not with the people within it. (The folks here do do the best they can with where they are at, collectively.)
Now, to set up a true working model, our job is not to stay outside of the harmonic of the person hurting, but to join in there, with love, with knowing, with partnership of all working bits and peaces. To add lightness. My son did just that. Ohhh what needed comic relief we both needed. He is having a very difficult financial time in his world. Not for the lack of turning every stone and even building his stones only to be taken away for the moment. And so he called me to find out what was happening within my world… and we vented and then changed the subject to something that happened to him recently and it just turned into such gut hurting laughter for an easy 10 minutes. And thru that laughter, it did produce something he has been looking for for days and wham there it was, which was also the brunt of this laughter escapade too.
Yesterday, in my looking towards what’s left that I can do to get this done, my last and only option is selling this house. Yet, nothing about that felt right. Especially this morning, it is not time to unhouse myself. There is too much change happening everywhere and no place to feel like moving towards.
So lets bring all this together with the information released the last several days. We really do have a gift called the ego mind. So many people want to kill it, stop it, squash it and yet it is the very reason we are here in this amazing landscape of duality. We have this amazing gift, this very powerful tool that exists no where else in all of creation… that alone should reveal how special we are, but instead, because it really is so foreign, we are throwing the baby out with the bath water and calling ourselves complete.
Now the untempered ego.. that’s a bit of a bully. It has grown untempered thru lifetimes, but when integrated and fully partnered with the ALL of Life, it is an amazing task master! What good is a car if all you have is the gas and the oil and all the other fluids. It is our mind so familiar with matter that knows how to construct an engine, a fuel line, tires and even, the human to drive wherever they desire to go. Even if they want to avoid going anywhere…. that would be felt as… unsafe. Go there anyway!!! We are needed there the most!!
Have an amazing day my beautiful co-creators. Let’s get a little dirty today, the eclipse is counting on us, since we released it as such!!
(((((HUGZ))))) of power and bliss to and thru ALL!!!
Lisa Gawlas www.mysoulcenter.com/bookreading.html