De-Conditioning with Love
Melchizedek’s Weekly Message ~ September 21 – 28, 2014
received by Julie Miller / September 21, 2014
Every person is born uniquely different, even if you find some dear souls having close similarities to yourself, they all come with their own unique potential, with their own gifts and naturally born talents. The moment children are born, parents begin grooming the child according to their own wants and needs…they begin conditioning the child to act a certain way and sometimes the conditioning done is destructive and can create unnecessary suffering. There are many parents with the conception that children, while they are young and able to be manipulated are there to serve their parents. Children are a blessing, a gift of love to be cherished…they are the parent’s opportunity to demonstrate unconditional love and compassion, to grow with the child, not just grow the child.
Every dear soul wants to live a happy, peaceful life yet this desire often gets unfulfilled as you meet challenge after challenge, making it difficult to see anything more than resentment and despair. Depending on the severity of your conditioning and how much harm it brought, seeking happiness and love could easily bring along a path that is harmful and potentially destructive. Many dear souls with severe conditioning by their parents or caregivers have difficulty sustaining any love they find as they never were taught to love themselves, to be kind to themselves and to treat others with the same love and kindness.
Those that only know how to love conditionally deliver and share a kind of love that has destructive capabilities. Conditional love is a kind of love that is like a favour, it works on self-esteem and many times pride. Remember dear ones your basic source of your self-esteem began how you were considered by those who took care of you as a child, how they felt towards you, how they professed their love for you. If a parent themselves had parents that did not value themselves, they were brought up on that concept also, that as children…that little person did not receive equal respect as an adult would. How you think of yourself now began as a child, but it doesn’t mean if you currently think poorly of yourself cannot change, because you can undo conditioning, you can become the person you want to be and create a life for yourself that is happy and love filled.
The era which you now live holds so much pressure to love others that many times the person professing love has undervalued the true power of love, a love that is never-ending and unconditional. As a parent you are expected to love your children and as children you are expected to love your parents or caregiver, but doing all that loving is love actually taught to have meaning. When love is professed, is there feeling in the words or are they just words to fill in the space? When working with such strong feelings such as love, there needs to be understanding of what the word and feeling means and not to throw around the sacred words, “I love you,” at a drop of a hat. And the truth is dear ones, many times the people you are conditioned to love, forced to love, told to love are the very people you may not like. As children, if you don’t mutter those words to people you don’t like you will appear ungrateful. This kind of conditioning is harmful to the formation of young minds and to the development of those young minds into adulthood. You live in a society that is so focused on loving that the truth of the heart is often compromised.
To live from the heart, from a place of love is not a forced way of living. It is a way that offers freedom from destructive childhood conditioning, it allows the person to be drawn to others that have similar likes and dislikes and it helps to nurture the love that is present that brought the experience…to unfold deeper potentials of self-discovery, to nurture, to love, to be kind and so forth…but all with meaning that offers fulfillment, happiness and peace.
When love is conditioned, it creates a spiteful way of living, based on demands for affection. It is not healthy and it is not pure from the heart. Love that comes with conditions also comes with the threat of abandonment; which means not being loved at all. Conditional love is a selfish means of controlling another dear soul for their own egoic purpose. Conditional love disempowers your self-esteem, your self-worth becomes critical because everything you do is for someone else and only if they approve you feel worthy. There are many loved starved adults in the world that have not figured out they are worthy and lovable and capable of loving from the heart…changes are needed to see this.
A major change, a development or serious situation has to occur before changes can be implemented. Life-changing alterations can only occur when something has happened for you to see the harm of a certain lifestyle or way of being. Where the light goes on that you deserve to be treated better and to break the chains of your conditioning. Even though most people were never taught about feelings, empathy, how to develop healthy relationships, or what true value means within a family, you can still learn to be who you really want to be by learning to control your mind and learning who you are…to take yourself away from all negative conditioning and see yourself pretty much naked…then what do you see? The answer is you. Just you, ready to look at the world with new eyes, with a new, fresh perspective, a person that is open to new challenges, new directions and has learned to love themselves just as they are…knowing there are yet weaknesses to work on, but focusing on the strengths for empowerment and inspiration.
In order to heal yourself from negative, or harmful conditioning it is important dear ones to comprehend what it means to nurture, to love from the heart, and to give unconditionally kindness and appreciation. Don’t become a prisoner of your own mind, free yourself with love. We know learning to love yourself is not an easy feat when you have been taught to serve others. When you love another, you are sharing a part of yourself, demonstrating without words that you do care about their uniqueness, you have no desire to change them, but you do wish to grow with them, to learn together from each other. Love is beautiful and infinite. When it comes from the heart there are no conditions as it is unconditional.
When you are healing yourself, developing your inner self and growing into the person you wish to become, you are nurturing yourself for the sole purpose of growth, to becoming better than you once were and when you nurture another with love it is for the same reasons, but the experience is no longer solo, it becomes a shared experience. There is no jealousy or competition, there is only encouragement, compassion and enthusiasm for one another.
Try envisioning that the dear soul you wish to share your unconditional love with as a very rare and delicate flower. This rare flower requires tender, loving care in order for it to develop and to bloom properly in all its colour and heavenly fragrance. Flowers are considered as blessings, they bring about smiles and laughter, and they are appreciated by many. Now take this idea or concept when you are nurturing another person, see them as delicate flowers in need of upliftment, love and care. As you nurture another dear soul with such care, you are also nurturing yourself which is just as important.
If you think about it, a newly born child is also a flower. He or she is need of nurturing, to be grown and developed with pure love and care at each step. You never ask the flowers that you have grown to be anything more than the flower that they are. You appreciate it for what it is. Even if it grows missing a petal or doesn’t quite grow the right colour, you don’t destroy it, you continue to care for it with love and focused attention. Each person, young or old is a flower to be appreciated, to be loved and cared for.
In order to make the changes you are about to bring that will help you overcome any conditioning you have been brought to live by, you must first begin to understand that you are not your mind, you are not your thoughts and most definitely you are not your feelings. Become the observer of your mind, explore what you find, uncover truths and learn that as you develop your awareness and wake to your true self that you dear ones are consciousness, you are love and you are very much capable of giving and receiving pure unconditional love and compassion, and not just occasionally but always. When you become the observer of yourself, it is important to observe with the barest of attention, to look without judgement, to look for the potential and opportunity to learn, to grow and to change what is not liked. Any changes you make, are done by you and never by anyone else; they are your responsibility to see them through. Yes the going may get a little tough and you might find yourself facing some truths or difficulties, but you will rise above them stronger and more knowledgeable. Stop comparing yourself with others, stop badgering yourself to be this or that, and start being you.
Make your consciousness become a tool, become more aware of your whole self and the world around you. Don’t allow fear to prevent you from displaying real compassion for yourself or towards others. It takes time to heal and to overcome conditioning, be gentle with yourself. As you heal, don’t only look to yourself, make the courage reach to others for support, love and guidance and remember to reach to us, to God or to the deity you are closest to. End the need to see yourself with angry eyes and see yourself with love, unlock the prison of your mind and free yourself through your heart.
As you learn to nurture, to be kind and love yourself don’t forget to appreciate the most important relationship you could ever have; the relationship with yourself. Before you can love any other person, one of God’s creatures, a flower or anything else that has meaning to you, you must be able to love yourself. In order to love yourself you need to be able to accept all of yourself just as you are. See yourself as being valuable, as being worthy, with the inner knowing that God does support you and is always there for you; He’s only a heartbeat away dear ones.
When you are relaxed in your mind, where you feel safe and secure after giving yourself the necessary time to heal from the selfless nurturing you applied then you can allow the wounded parts of your Self to come into your body and mind so they can be healed and let go. By focusing inwardly and by allowing the healing process to filter into other aspects of you, even into the wounded parts of your mental and emotional faculties, you are permitting yourself to feel. By going inward dear ones, you are slowing down any pain or despair once felt and allowing any feelings to slow down and to dissipate once and for all. You are able to then see how pure, unconditional love can heal all that you may have blocked, refused to admit; all that has been restricting you to love and to be at your full potential. You have the ability dear ones, always have to free yourself of any painful moment. We encourage you to let go of the disharmonic feelings and emotions, give them to God—trust in Him to take them and replace them with love. Don’t be frightened, love yourself enough to grow and to develop naturally, at a pace that is perfect for you. When the pain of any conditioning or hurt from any mistreatment has left, then you also end creating additional pain from day-to-day living. Instead of choosing fear, resentment or shame, you are choosing love, compassion and appreciation. You fill your mind with thoughts of gratitude and love and your perception is no longer distorted, but full of clarity.
It is vital to maintain the process of overcoming conditioning and hurts from difficult situations as it helps to further develop a deeper openness and you continue to have a relationship with your consciousness. You are no longer living in the past, you are embracing the present knowing it is a gift. You are not feeling absent of left behind, you are feeling connected and you are able to feel and know that you have an unlimited reservoir of love and it comes from within you. If you ever doubt this inner well of love, simply seek God, He will illuminate the path back to your heart which is forever joined with His. You will come to the conclusion dear ones that as you go within yourself for nurturing, for growth, change and to learn who and what you want to be, you discover that there truly is a flower there of great beauty and of great value, one that is divinely unique and special and that flower is you.
I AM Melchizedek through Julie Miller