To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.”
~ Robert MullerDo you consider yourself to be a forgiving or resentful person? If somebody has hurt you in the past or did something to make you suffer, would you hold on to those past events, thoughts and feelings, or would you just let them go?I always say that where there is anger, hate, revenge, bitterness, there is also a lot of pain underneath, and I really believe that to be true. A person who is blissful and content with herself and the world around, no matter how many mean people she will encounter and no matter how much pain those people may cause her to feel, she will always respond with love, kindness and compassion instead of anger, hate and resentment. Loving people know that an eye for an eye would only leave the whole world blind, like Gandhi said it, and they choose to do no harm to the world around them.
“If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives: Be kind anyway. If you are successful you will win some false friends and true enemies: Succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank people will try to cheat you: Be honest anyway. What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight: Build anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous of you: Be happy anyway. The good you do today, will often be forgotten by tomorrow: Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough: Give your best anyway.”
~ Mother Teresa
I know it’s a lot easier to give back exactly what you receive, and in this case, a lot of negativity, but we don’t want to do what’s easier, but rather what is best for our health, our well being and that of those around us. I know that people can be really mean sometimes, and that they can do horrible things to those they come in contact with, to those they love and care about, but I also believe that people can change, and this is why it’s so important to give up on your personal history that you might have had with those people, and allow them to show you just that.
If you keep an inner record of what this/that person did to you, and what they said to you, and how they made you feel, how much pain they may have caused you, etc. , every time you will come into contact with them, you will be reminded of all those things, and you will never be able to forgive and forget, nor to allow them to show you how sorry they are for what happened. No matter if they did all of those things on purpose or not, by holding on to grudge, anger or whatever it is that you are holding on to, you will bring even more pain upon your shoulders.
Just think about it. How is it possible to affect them with your hate, or whatever feelings you have towards them? You sit at home, ruminating about all the times they have mistreated you; and all the times they have hurt you; and all the many horrible things they did to you; making all kind of scenarios in your head about the things you want to tell them, and about the many ways you could get even… You spend most of your time doing just that, when the people you hate so much are probably having the time of their lives, not being affected by your feelings at all. It just doesn’t make any sense. Your ego might tell you that it does, but deep down in your heart you know that what you are doing is pretty crazy and disturbing.
guess it’s time for you to stop, don’t you think? Forgive and forget, not for them, but for your own sake. Why spend your time thinking about something that would only attract more anger and drain you of your emotional, physical, and mental energy, ignoring all the beauty that is present in and all around you…? What’s done is done. Let it go. Detach yourself from it.
For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson
One of the many mistakes people make in this case, I would say, is that they choose to hold on to something that is not healthy for them, just because they aren’t willing to let go of some past resentments. Why won’t you let go of something that is causing you so much pain?
Anger will never disappear so long as thoughts of resentment are cherished in the mind. Anger will disappear just as soon as thoughts of resentment are forgotten.