What an amazing time in life!! I can liken it to Being the eye of the hurricane and watching everything whip up and circulate around you, yet, there is this inner calm. This sunshiny place of amazement and awe… of absolute Love!!
There are so many places I can take this sharing today, so many things to talk about, but I think I am going to skip all that, since we are, at this very moment, undergoing yet another absolute change in the field of life… again!!
Lets talk today about the preciousness of duality, our experience within it, and how valuable it all is to our ongoing moment of soul expression.
I had always waited, quite impatiently I might add, to the day, the long term field of chaos would just not exist in my world again. When duality would cease to be the experience here on earth, as an outward experience. But I am so fully realizing that the game is not to do away with duality, but to master the true energy of it as a full experience.
With duality comes challenges (growth) and surprises (unwanted experiences from the human level lol) and chaos. All the things that simply do not and cannot exist in our True home, that place I call heaven or spirit. Our job thru this earthly experience is to bring Heaven into our core energy, center, heart (pick a word.)
But what does that even really mean to us?
Well, July has been a prime example for me personally.
First let me bring back that new feeling, energy thingie I wrote about a few days ago that I am calling Shambha-lini. In its pure form that it is in now, has not existed on earth in so long a time we have no collective memory of it. It was released in that thingie I call the water world.
In the past I have had the most amazing, generous souls gift me so many things that expanded my heart in amazing and humbling ways, yet what I felt this moment with that fridge, was beyond any previous experience. But I am understanding more, in the only way I can truly understand it without being completely wrong, thru my own experiences.
So, as I understand this “water world” energy, it is the pure energy of the whole earth and the wholeness of our soul, prime creator, god, whatever word works for you, flooding our heart-scape with pure feeling. It only becomes felt when in the experience of…. something.
I thought it had to do with more than one person together in an act of unconditional love, but I was wrong!! Boy oh boy was I wrong. Let me share…. (smile)
About a month and a half or so ago, I developed this scaly, oozy, thingie on my right areola. At first I paid it no mind because I have had bouts of psoriasis since I was 17 years old. I assumed the spot on my breast was that. Until it grew and was nothing like psoriasis at all. The week after I came back from my adventures in Colorado, that spot doubled in size. I started to look up what it could be online, since I knew it wasn’t psoriasis and the creams I had for that didn’t even touch it. My google search flooded me with websites on Paget’s Disease of the Breast. I quickly called my Oncologist and scheduled an appointment. The one thing I thought I didn’t have that often goes with Paget’s disease, is a palpable mass near the scab site.
I seen my oncologist, someone I really don’t have a full on trust with and not the oncologist I started out with when I had active melanoma either. He sent in his PA (physicians assistant) to start the process of checking on my boobs and she was in the same place as me… that does not look good. My oncologist agreed it was no psoriasis, and claimed he did not have the equipment to do the biopsy that was needed for that kind of lesion. They also did the lightest breast exam I ever experienced, thru my clothes, to feel for lumps. Nuttin. He said I needed to see a dermatologist, he had no idea what it could be. But took out his prescription pad and prescribed me antibiotics and an anti-fungal medication just incase .
I have been here before. The two doctors I had seen for that thing that was growing on my back did nothing and suggested I see a dermatologist for it. No worries.
I went home not feeling thrilled. Like that nagging feeling you get way down deep. Several days later, I get a call from the dermatology department and the soonest they can fit me in was August 11th and as I voiced my dismay they said they are actually booked thru December, but my oncologist my need sound urgent.
Every day my lower mind was kicking me in the butt. I should not wait until the 11th. I got flashes of my original journey, had someone noticed it might be cancer, I would have never gotten to a level 3 melanoma. I was remembering my father’s journey, had his lung specialist at anytime in the three years he had that benign mass in his lungs kept checking…
I figured that was just my mind doing the fear dance. I did kept doing a nightly breast exam on myself, the way I was taught, laying flat down with a pillow under my shoulder. I felt nothing. Until 2 nights ago I accidentally did my breast exam with two pillows under me (I was watching TV and was propped up.) Holy shit, there are several lumps right at the site of that scab. When I laid flat, they went away, when I put the pillows under me, they were unmistakable. Shit. I had no idea different positions could reveal different things.
I woke up yesterday morning focused souly on my boobs. I couldn’t tap into the field of readings for nothing. I called my oncologist, he wasn’t in. My lower mind for this past week kept reminding me how important a mammogram would be. My oncologist didn’t even think about it. The last time I had one was 4 years ago where they did find deep fluid filled cysts in the same breast (right side.) He never really asked key questions either… My lower mind was adamant about finding a woman’s center. Sure enough there is one in Albuquerque. I called, they heard the urgency in my symptoms and we scheduled for this coming Tuesday (the 15th.) I asked the lady if it would be helpful to bring all the notes from my cancer journey to date, so said absolutely. I spent hour copying and organizing my notes from UNM Cancer Center and all the imaging they gave me. Took me hours but at the end… OMG, the feeling was indescribable. Euphoric even.
I sat here for a long moment feeling madly in love with my lower mind. Its presence here. Its purpose in our lives. It is the body’s care taker. The parent if you will. It is driven, task oriented, detail oriented and soooo protective of the body system, which IS its divine design!! I ignored it for over a week. Yesterday, I gave it full reign over my day and it got things done and felt accomplished.
I fell in love with my lower mind in a way I never ever have before. As I was sitting here just being in gratitude of the whole day, not a reading got done, but the determination within my lower mind… flourished with ease and grace. I was enveloped with that feeling that came with my fridge love people. Shambha-lini. The love was so intense, so expansive my eyes leaked like rain. It was raining outside too (literally.) Suddenly, I was prompted to look outside, and there outside of my front door, across the horizon was a rainbow. I wiped the love drenched tears from my eyes, grabbed my camera and went outside to take pictures. Not only did I capture the rainbow, but these massive storm clouds, dark outside and the intense illumination of light at the top… I cried even harder. The love, the knowing, the beauty of life itself expressing itself in unmistakable ways.
We think we are supposed to avoid the storms of life, hell no!! The storms are as valuable as the sunshine itself. How else shall we have the rainbows.
Our ongoing gift unto ourSelf and all of life is when we harness the amazing power of our lower mind with the expansiveness of our higher mind, even the things that one could view scary becomes a moment of bliss and anticipation.
If all of yesterday wasn’t huge enough to celebrate, this morning when I woke up…. very late, my laptop was completely dead. It took 20 minutes to get enough charge in it to power up. My phone battery was completely dead. My mind was filled with super grog energy.
So far the day of readings have been very much like the storm yesterday. I can see clearly, but the rain has intensified in the field and there is nothing we are able to see… yet. A full on reboot of Life energy is underway!!
Celebrate it all!! I love you soul much!!!
(((((HUGZ)))))) of stormy rainbows and bliss!!!
Lisa Gawlas www.mysoulcenter.com/energy_readings.html